DAY - Ext.
JOEY
I drink 3 or 4 litres of milk per day
CHRISTINE
Why, Joey?
JOEY
Cause I'm depressed
CHRISTINE
Oh.
I have been running this little scene over and over in my head for a few days, since my sister recreated it for me, in fact. I am not sure why. It makes me laugh, because I am lactose intolerant, because Joey thinks of milk the way other people think of booze, because he can just say out loud, I'm depressed, possibly because he has heard enough people say it on daytime TV that it seems like some place he wouldn't mind being, or he might really be depressed.
And if the last is true, it makes me sad, because he is at a point where he is lonely enough that he can share this information pretty flippantly with my sister (who is a good person to share that with, but that is just a fluke). And that kind of loneliness scares me out my boots.
Joey is my sister's locataire. He has a squished face and wears the same kind of black Chinatown slippers that a certain Russian I know wears. That makes me laugh too. Just the shoes, though. Not the Russian. That whole situation makes me feel tired and irresponsible. I tried to explain myself today on the phone with J and I couldn't because I don't have any explanations. I feel stubborn, like the way old men are stubborn. And I know that I am more tired than I used to be and that I have to treat myself differently if I don't want to become too thin. I'm no good at anorexia, Bear says.
I am good at spending mad money, though. I bought 3 sweaters on Friday, and spent my Holt Renfrew gift card from Khalid. On a dress, because I don't have enough of those. Went out for coffee with Jacob (unsure of the spelling of his name, and don't know his last name, so that says something...). He is young and goofy, but sincere. I told him that I spoke to him because I have been thinking about the importance of connecting with people, or trying to, of looking at people and letting them look at you. He didn't run for the hills. It's a good sign. Although, he hasn't called yet either...
I really want someone to put some time in. Some significant time. That's one thing Little Vinnie has going for him, at least. One thing someone whose face I can't imagine but who has the unlikely name of Harrison has going for him too. He seems to know how to care, pretty instinctively.
But anyway, the GoC tests were okay, I think. I think I should have been in the one at 8:30 and it makes me think I did not apply correctly for the general inventory, but we'll see. I am nervous about the amount of work I have to do this week, but I just want to sleep right now. So I think I crawl to bed, like Mister Blue here.
Doesn't he look like he is almost there? Slow and steady.
And if the last is true, it makes me sad, because he is at a point where he is lonely enough that he can share this information pretty flippantly with my sister (who is a good person to share that with, but that is just a fluke). And that kind of loneliness scares me out my boots.
Joey is my sister's locataire. He has a squished face and wears the same kind of black Chinatown slippers that a certain Russian I know wears. That makes me laugh too. Just the shoes, though. Not the Russian. That whole situation makes me feel tired and irresponsible. I tried to explain myself today on the phone with J and I couldn't because I don't have any explanations. I feel stubborn, like the way old men are stubborn. And I know that I am more tired than I used to be and that I have to treat myself differently if I don't want to become too thin. I'm no good at anorexia, Bear says.
I am good at spending mad money, though. I bought 3 sweaters on Friday, and spent my Holt Renfrew gift card from Khalid. On a dress, because I don't have enough of those. Went out for coffee with Jacob (unsure of the spelling of his name, and don't know his last name, so that says something...). He is young and goofy, but sincere. I told him that I spoke to him because I have been thinking about the importance of connecting with people, or trying to, of looking at people and letting them look at you. He didn't run for the hills. It's a good sign. Although, he hasn't called yet either...
I really want someone to put some time in. Some significant time. That's one thing Little Vinnie has going for him, at least. One thing someone whose face I can't imagine but who has the unlikely name of Harrison has going for him too. He seems to know how to care, pretty instinctively.
But anyway, the GoC tests were okay, I think. I think I should have been in the one at 8:30 and it makes me think I did not apply correctly for the general inventory, but we'll see. I am nervous about the amount of work I have to do this week, but I just want to sleep right now. So I think I crawl to bed, like Mister Blue here.
Doesn't he look like he is almost there? Slow and steady.
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